New entry today MARCH 6th 2012 ~ I am in the middle of so much pain with trying to help my Mother through a sickness that I cannot go into here. This frustration is compounded by not being able to progress financially to extend my hand to her well beyond that of what local doctors are attempting to do. With that said; my business is weeks from paying out and everything can then leap exponentially forward ~ Thank you, GOD! ~ I will then be able to send her to whatever hospital or specialist needed in this grand world to possibly help her without worry for costs. I am not so special in my own thoughts,, she did all that SHE did for me coming into this world,, I can help her unselfishly without reservations to repay her. I am not a martyr or hero, I am just her son.
Lately, I have been one step away from pausing my account, but because of the wonderful women that continue to pass their love and understanding to me here, I simply can't do this. Your continued ""kisses"" mean the world to me and let me know you are REAL! My heart hurts for companionship,,, for support and understanding. When i am alone, and even though I am a pillar of strength, I sometimes become so overwhelmed and break into tears when I least expect it. Loneliness sucks. But I know that once I have things in order in a few weeks time enough to go ,,, I will without further delay. Thank you for your patience and continued compassion.
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I will be updating my profile periodically according to how I feel. Please be patient as my schedule has me fairly scattered. Forgive me - I apologize for being gone so long - for over two years. A lot has happened that has required me to rebuild my life. ~
Lyrics by 'Hurts' - 'Stay'
My whole life waiting for the right time
To tell you how I feel.
Know I try to tell you that I need you.
Here I am without you.
I feel so lost but what can I do?
'Cause I know this love seems real
But I don't know how to feel.
We say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away.
Stay, stay.
'Cause all my life I felt this way
But I could never find the words to say
Stay, stay.
Alright, everything is alright
Since you came along
And before you
I had nowhere to run to
Nothing to hold on to
I came so close to giving it up.
And I wonder if you know
How it feels to let you go?
You say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away.
Stay, stay.
'Cause all my life I felt this way
But I could never find the words to say
Stay, stay.
So you change your mind
And say you're mine.
Don't leave tonight
Stay.
Say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away.
Stay, stay.
'Cause all my life I felt this way
But I could never find the words to say
Stay, stay.
Stay with me, stay with me,
Stay with me, stay with me,
Stay, stay, stay, stay with me.
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Isn't life wonderful! I am in the process of advancing my professional position right now beyond anything I had ever imagined,,, I am a bit of a perfectionist, so it will take me a few months to get myself on track. I plan to travel this coming year to met "someone" or a few,, either in Russian or in Ukraine! However, the one thing I do know is that,,, I hope you are as serious as I am and you pay attention to me as I will to you. At this point in my life,, the cards are ringing so true. Maybe this rings true for you, too. This IS about our lives together.
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The funny thing that isn't said here in anything previous written is that I am coming to terms with how things will go for me. I guess it might seem like a mystery in present terms, but in my heart,, I KNOW! I will have more money than I can dream of soon and I am going to set out to travel the world until the sands in the deserts know my name. I am very humble about this transition and extremely thankful to God. Hey, if you don't understand, so be it. That is just ME!
I'm not here to ultimately impress with this or that,, or flash material items,, blah blah,, all that stuff is a given and anyone can have it. So I can get on a jet and fly from here to there,, BUT IF THE BEDROOM IS EMPTY,,, I have absolutely nothing.
I need my best friend. I need my lover. I need my mate. But most,, I need someone that when all is done for the day,, I can lay my head in her lap and confide great things to her! I mean this! I really need this. I want to BE with someone!!!
So, please don't lie to me for the sake of having me open many of your letters! Tell me right away that is all you want and go away! And save my time for someone that truly wants me,, for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ 09.02.2011 and this day passed,,, and not one lady who was writing to me wished me "Happy Birthday"!.
I am a happy person and I thank God each and every day for all that I have.
I have an amazing heart and I am open to loving you with no boundaries.
I love to smile and laugh. I always look for the positive in everything. I am young in my heart and mind and I always will be because of my attitude and my mindset! My spirit is free and always full of joy. I will give straight from my heart once I know you are the one.
I have great friends that say I am never without laughter.
I am very active. I like to fly airplanes, ride mountain bikes, swim (anything around water!!), hike, travel, cook (yes I am a great cook!
food is the passion of life). I will drink a fine wine with food and explore many micro-breweries when the chance pops up. I ride my very fast sport bike(safely), and drive a fast sports car. You could say that I am a bit of an adventurist.
I have never been married, nor have I had children. I have a calm and gentle soul. I am patient and loving. I am strong. I will climb mountains, over broken glass for you,, if you are the 'right' person! I am not perfect and know THAT you are not either but look to find the beauty in everything about you regardless of those things. I am always in search of bettering myself.
I love life and I want someone special to share it with me. I don't think it is too much to desire.
If you feel you are worth it, please say something to me, it may be our only chance. I am not afraid of anything! Life goes by so quickly. Let's grasp every bit of what we have left to find together!
I know you are out there,,,
