The guy that you have fancied for ages has asked you out on a date, and you've spent all day getting ready. Then when he turns up, he looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards, and that's just his hair! He's wearing a tatty t-shirt and an old pair of jeans, while you are all made up. It's too late to get changed, so you leave with him anyway. Where does he take you? Yes you've got it - to your local pub or bar, where he spends have the night talking to his buddies, and the other half talking about them. Then to top it off, he takes you for Macdonalds. The whole date was a complete disaster. He is not the guy you thought he was, and you don't know why you ever fancied him in the first place.
So what do you do when it is time to say good night? How do you avoid the end of the date kiss? And how do you let him down gently without being to harsh?
It is obvious you have no intention of seeing him again, so don't beat about the bush. Just get straight to the point. Sometimes being nice just doesn't work. Being too nice to a guy that you have no interest in, can lead to mixed signals, giving them the wrong idea and sometimes unwanted advances.
Making your exit through a toilet window is not the way to escape the situation. Neither is popping to the loo with your bag and coat and escaping out of the front door. It works and is useful as a desperate measure if the date is really bad, but it is better to deflect the situation and call the date to an end amicably. Leaving someone standing is a bad way to work and should only occur if you are feeling deeply uncomfortable.
First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently) that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.
Don't tell him that you want to be friends, unless you are really serious about being his friend and actually believe it can happen. If you don't want to see him again, make this very clear and avoid any contact with him at all. Even giving in to a good night kiss will send out the wrong signal and that is the last thing you want.
Men are not good at reading signals and mistake many gestures you make towards them. They can take rejection badly but being cruel to be kind is the way forward. You need to keep a cool head but make things clear. If you were going out as a friend in the first place you should make this clear in advance otherwise you will end up trying to explain his advances are unwanted later and he will want to know why. Dating for men is as tricky as it is for russian women and therefore you owe it to yourself and your date to end things amicably, but swiftly if it is simply not what you are looking for.
That way both people can move forward.
Professional Advice: 10 of the best bad date exit strategies
When your date is excruciatingly bad, you can be forgiven for wanting to bail out – but you might at least try to do so as nicely as possible, rather than going to the toilet and never coming back. Here are our top 10 exit strategies for getting yourself out of a bad date!
1. The crisis call exit
If you’ve got friends willing to play along, then you could pre-arrange for someone to phone you halfway through your date with an emergency crisis. If things are going well, you don’t need to act on it, but if it’s all going pear-shaped, then hearing about a sudden crisis is good exit strategy to have. Don’t get too carried away with your crisis ideas though – keep them believable!
2. The double-booked exit
Pretending to have double-booked yourself is a good way of gently letting down a bad date, but you do need to implement the plan at the beginning of a date. When you arrive for your date, make a point of saying that you’ve discovered at the last minute that you’ve accidentally double-booked yourself and might have to leave early. Be creative, but realistic, with your reasons – for example, it could be your workmate’s leaving do, a work event you should have been at or a friend’s party. If your date is less than inspiring, then you can use the excuse to head off early. Don’t worry if all goes swimmingly well and you don’t want to leave. Your date will be even more impressed that you’ve given up your time to spend with them!
3. The spillage exit
This isn’t ideal if you’re wearing your favourite frock or designer suit, but if things have got really boring and you’re hating every minute of your date, then you could always put to use the spillage exit. This is a move best made with a bit of prior thought – it’s better to use white wine, vodka or gin, rather than red wine or beer. Put simply, you need to engineer a situation where you accidentally spill your drink all over you, with monumental effect. If you make enough of a fuss about the whole incident, not bearing to stay in the clothes a minute longer, you can subsequently rush off home to change and get the stains out.
 4. The tiredness exit
This one is ideal for anyone who is already bored to tears by their date and can’t help but yawning and looking bored. Yes, it’s the tiredness exit. In order to pull this one off, you need to be able to suitably fake extreme tiredness, where you can’t stop yourself yawning. It’s also good to team it up with the idea that you have to be up super early the next morning for work, so need to go home early to get a good night’s sleep.
5. The illness exit
No-one wants to be suddenly struck down with dire illness on their date, but if the date is the worst you’ve ever been on, then you could enlist the help of the illness exit strategy. This is the one where you suddenly feel unwell and have to rush off home straightaway. It could be a faked dodgy stomach (you may have to rush to the toilet several times before to really pull this one off), feeling sick or, for the girls, you could fake sudden women’s problems.
6. The parking ticket is running out exit
If time is ticking on and you can’t wait for your date to end, then you could always use the good old line that your parking ticket is running out, so you really must go. It can work too even if you haven’t driven – just make sure he doesn’t then spot you carless and walking, as your guise will be blown.
7. The scaring him witless exit
If you don’t fancy any of the other exit strategies, and don’t feel up to faking an illness, tiredness, prior commitment or spilling something all over yourself, then you could always go for the scaring him witless exit strategy. With this novel method, the idea is to be as scary and off-putting as possible. This could be through disagreeing with everything he says, coming up with weird and wacky made-up hobbies and activities, or indulging in raucous laughter or giggling for no apparent reason. If successfully used, this should have your date making their own excuses pretty pronto, leaving you alone as you’d desired.
8. The long-term commitment exit
The first or second dates aren’t the place to start talking about long-term commitments – that comes further down the line – so if you’re keen to lose someone sharpish, talking about commitments is a good way of doing so. For example, you could suddenly start talking about how you’re dying to get married as soon as possible, want to have his babies, would like your date to meet your parents tomorrow and want to move in together straightaway. As long as you’re not out with someone who really is desperate, then you’ve got a jolly good chance of putting them off and ending the date – and any future ones – in a shot.
9. The ‘must catch my train, bus or plane’ exit
Another useful transport-related trick to have up your sleeve is the notion that you need to suddenly rush off to catch a train, bus or plane. It could be that it’s the last train or bus back home, or that you’re need to dash to catch a plane away for work (and what an even better reason to be unable to see your date again soon, or get their calls). As with the car park ticket exit trick, just be sure to be well out of his view if you’re not heading towards a station or airport.
10. The honesty exit strategy
If all else fails and you’re really far too nice at heart to pull off any of our other exit strategies, then there’s always the honesty exit. Some people find it hard to do, but if you’re not enjoying the date, know you won’t get on and there’s no chemistry at all, why not just be honest and tell them. You don’t have to go into a great long explanation of what’s wrong, just keep it simple, tell them it’s not going to work and leave.
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